Back in October, (yes, yes I know that I haven’t written anything for that long, life gets in the way) I wrote about finally getting to knit the sweater of my dreams – Nagano by Dale of Norway, it was a big deal for me, and the problem was that after years of searching for the pattern, I had mythologised the knit to the point that when I got around to starting, I had got so in my head about making it, that it absolutely had to be totally perfect, nothing else would do.
So I picked my colours, knit the body and started one arm, and I kept looking at the body, and looking, and grumbling about my bloody stupid colour choices. And this kept on until about a month ago, when in a fit of loneliness and self contempt at my own uselessness, I frogged the entire thing and started again using the colours Dale of Norway used back in the 90’s.
Now I know why this happened, I am a man very much on my own during the week, I don’t use social media and I don’t have any friends, so knitting, reading and running have become the core of my identity and what I knit has to be perfect, what I read has to be enlightening or entertaining, and when I run I have to compete against myself. I am often alone in my head and the self saboteur who lives in there really didn’t like my knitting…
That said, he was right, the colour choices were wrong, it looks much better now and so here I am, mid July with a daily heat warning, knitting a winter jumper. But, by gum it looks good. (And we have a puppy!!!)
