July 2024 – Badger

Okay, so get the eye rolling out of the way, yes, I know another fat middle aged man got fit during lockdown. Well tough, this is my journal/blog thing and I want to write about it.

Way back in 2020, a friend contacted me about a new “learn to run” course being held at the local community centre. Well there was one thing I knew about myself, I bloody hated running. I hated it at school, I didn’t mind it when I played rugby, but as far as I was concerned running for its own sake was the hobby of smug sods. Never mind that I was fat, unfit, lazy and undisciplined about every weightloss/fitness thing I tried, running could go hang.

Thankfully Alison persisted, she wanted a companion to go with and thankfully with the “we can egg each other on” reasoning, she bullied me into joining her at the RECC. I paid (my reasoning being that if I paid for it, then I had to go and get my monies worth), bought decent running shoes and spent a good hour bargaining with myself the night of the first class, if I went just once, then I might actually get something out of it.

So I went, met up with Alison in the parking lot and we made our way into the indoor running track and I was immediately intimidated and impressed by Joel, the instructor running the group. Joel is the kind of guy who you see running ultra marathons, he has the physique that makes grown men cry over their poor life choices, and he is quite frankly one of the nicest people I have met in sometime. I have never met someone that fit who is also non judgemental and encouraging. More about the amazing Joel later.

Very long story short, once Joel taught me how to warm up, how to ease into running with walk breaks, how to actually breathe, I found that I actually liked, no, I actually loved running.

There is mistaking that we are brothers – me on the right on my second day of running. My amazing dorky brother on the left in response.

An odd thing happened. I started to care about my appearance again. I shaved off my beard, I started looking at my clothes and caring about dressing nicer, things mattered a bit more. Then the pandemic hit and lockdown shut down the run program, but I kept on running on the rarely used treadmill in our basement.

Back in October, (yes, yes I know that I haven’t written anything for that long, life gets in the way) I wrote about finally getting to knit the sweater of my dreams – Nagano by Dale of Norway, it was a big deal for me, and the problem was that after years of searching for the pattern, I had mythologised the knit to the point that when I got around to starting, I had got so in my head about making it, that it absolutely had to be totally perfect, nothing else would do.

So I picked my colours, knit the body and started one arm, and I kept looking at the body, and looking, and grumbling about my bloody stupid colour choices. And this kept on until about a month ago, when in a fit of loneliness and self contempt at my own uselessness, I frogged the entire thing and started again using the colours Dale of Norway used back in the 90’s.

Now I know why this happened, I am a man very much on my own during the week, I don’t use social media and I don’t have any friends, so knitting, reading and running have become the core of my identity and what I knit has to be perfect, what I read has to be enlightening or entertaining, and when I run I have to compete against myself. I am often alone in my head and the self saboteur who lives in there really didn’t like my knitting…

That said, he was right, the colour choices were wrong, it looks much better now and so here I am, mid July with a daily heat warning, knitting a winter jumper. But, by gum it looks good. (And we have a puppy!!!)

Month: July 2024

Yet another bloody “inspirational” running man journey. Pt 1

Here be Dragons (again)